Editions of Me

My brother and sister-in-law love to travel. I am the complete opposite--I'm a complete homebody, I like to stay indoors, and the unfamiliar gives me anxiety. However, one thing on our common bucket lists is to see Vietnam, especially the cities our family are from. Unfortunately, with a young child, that's not going to happen for me anytime soon (I am not traveling to another continent with a toddler, sorry), but my brother and SIL are definitely in a position to go relatively soon, and are working on planning a trip with our parents. Last week, they were showing us some travel vlogs from Americans visiting Ho Chi Minh City (aka, Saigon). Scrolling through the YouTube search results, we were seeing, well, a lot of white travel vloggers, and this had me feeling some type of way. These white Americans have been to my home country, and I have not.  In that moment, I felt a weird sort of possessiveness, and a sense of shame.  But... like... can I even call it my home country? My ...

I know this isn't my book blog, but bear with me here. I want to talk about romance novels. I like them. I read them a lot. Not so much with the corsets and men riding horses, but just contemporary, new adult romances, because they're fun, sexy escapism, and they're quick to read. (We all have our things, I guess.) Maybe it's because I tend to seek out the free/cheap ones instead of casting my net farther and wider, but I had a very obvious realization this morning about romance novels...

I was an ignorant, elitist brat when I was younger, in my teens and early 20s. I believed in female empowerment, but I was slut-shamey and judgmental of other girls' clothing choices. I called myself the "white Asian," because I was all about the things that white people liked. I would often joke that I was actually half-Asian, with my inside half being white. I definitely wasn't AZN or gangsta, and I will admit it: I bought into the whole stereotype of those cultures being thuggish and uneducated. If I indulged in hip hop or R&B, I would do so "ironically." Look, I'm just gonna say it, because it shouldn't surprise anyone: I was racist. Let's just call it what it is. Those thoughts and behaviors are racist. I don't remember if I identified as feminist or not, but my actions and beliefs were definitely problematic. I look back at my younger self and cringe. What does this have to do with Beyonce?

At Anchored we have a group of Viet girls whom Steve likes to refer to collectively as "Fitnam."  This could be because I live in the Bay Area, but at the two powerlifting meets I've attended, I've noticed that there are a lot of Asians. There are a lot of Asians in weightlifting, period, and there was a large contingent of Asians at the Crossfit box I used to go to too. (And I include South Asians and PI-ers when I say "Asians" here.) I'm not going to pretend that I know the whole history of Asians and weightlifting, but what I can  tell you is that it's at such odds with what the rest of pop culture/American mainstream media would show you about us. Asian men are often portrayed in such emasculated ways. (Unless they're "kung fu fighting," right?) They're always geeks, sidekicks, comic relief - so rarely the hero who gets proper respect and the love of the audience. (There are plenty of cartoonish Asian villains.) Or the l...

It's Thanksgiving, and I want to talk about privilege. Specifically, mine. There are people who appear to have a lot of trouble either understanding what privilege really means or recognizing that they do in fact have some, and I want to talk about mine because I'm hoping it will clarify some things in a hopefully non-accusatory way (I will try to police my own tone on this one, but no promises) and also... just to express thanks. It IS Thanksgiving, after all. So let's begin with what and who I am, in no particular order: - Asian (specifically, Vietnamese) - Female - Graduate-educated - Upper middle class - Cisgender - Heterosexual (though to be honest, I would call myself "heteroflexible" or "curious") - English-speaking - American-born (to immigrant parents) - Physically and mentally able - Fat - Atheist - Unmarried As you can see, there are areas where I have privilege and areas where I don't. I'm heterosexual (for all i...

I was reading an article about the Jem & the Holograms movie, because I'm curious about it (I liked the tv show when I was a kid), and there were some complaints about the choice of actress for Shana because on the show, she was dark-skinned with natural hair (in style/texture, not the dyed-purple part), and the actress they cast is mixed race and quite light skinned. Here, see for yourself: Shana is on the far left Lower left, Aurora Perrineau will play Shana in the movie So, there were people who expressed their dismay in the comments to the article. And then I saw this: *headdesk* First of all, you didn't hear anyone complaining ? Second of all, I'm sure that Perrineau truly earned the role and that she will do a great job (I've never actually seen her act before, so I don't really know), but as I like to tell people, context matters . This one instance of casting a lighter-skinned actress instead of a darker-skinned actress may not be...