Editions of Me

I have at times been thinner , but I have never been thin. I've been talking to my freshman students about the idea of identity and fitting in and all that, and what I haven't told them (yet) is that you never stop trying to figure out who you are and where you belong, even as an adult. My whole life, I've grown up believing I was fat and ugly. I got teased pretty mercilessly (by family members even more than other kids, though that happened too). I used to hear all the time how, even as a baby, strangers would stop and stare at me in my stroller because I was just so... globular. Yeah. People laughed about me being fat even at this age. I was always a stocky, thick-limbed child, and as a teenager, I dreamed of being as thin as my friends and being able to shop at Contempo Casual and other mall stores. I always dressed slightly older than my age because I couldn't fit junior sizes. I got into fitness in my 20s, but not in a healthy way, and it wasn't unt...

So, this is my first written post in a while! I know I've been sharing a slew of PR videos mostly. School has started again, and that's been taking up most of my time. Between doing all the prep work and then vegging out at home at the end of a long day, I don't have much free time. I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things, but there's always an adjustment period. And even though it's my 10th year, I'm still trying to find ways to do things better and to keep myself  from getting bored, so even if I'm teaching the same texts, I still have lots of work to do. So far, my kids have been great. Things are never without hiccups, but I've got a nice mix of kids, and they all seem like good kids. Hopefully things will stay that way. Outside of work, I've been trying to get back into my groove, workout-wise. I'm no longer training for CIM, thanks to my knee injury flaring up again, and I've been working hard with Steve to rehab it...

When you tell your coach, "I'd like to test my bench press at the end of this cycle," and he's like, Okayhowboutnow? STOKED to be making some headway on my #benchpress, finally! I don't work this one enough. 10lb #PR, bringing me to 150, and bringing my total to 940. I WILL #break1000 someday! #powerlifting #beastmode #fitnamese #girlswholift #fitnamese #anchoredsc @anchoredsc A video posted by Thu (@acciobeastmode) on Aug 10, 2015 at 7:33pm PDT

375 #backsquat!!!! #PR #beastmode #strength #fitnamese #fitness #girlswholift #powerlifting #anchoredsc @anchoredsc A video posted by Thu (@acciobeastmode) on Jul 24, 2015 at 7:43pm PDT

A new #deadlift #PR of 415!!!! WHAT IS THIS LIFE. Thank you to everyone at ⚓️ @anchoredsc ⚓️ for always building me up and helping me improve 💜 #powerlifting #girlswholift #fitness #fitnamese #strength #beastmode #anchoredsc A video posted by Thu (@acciobeastmode) on Jul 22, 2015 at 7:51pm PDT

I came here ready to post about how I haven't gone running in well over a month, and I feel like I'm in a rut, but I suddenly realized just how many of my posts might say very nearly the exact same thing, and oddly, around the same time of year (summer break). Going over old posts, I'm realizing that there's a pattern to my "ruts," and they usually occur during summer break and deep winter (like, January/February). And I suddenly thought... What if I'm not actually in a rut? What if this is just my natural "off-season"? Running is one of those sports that you can do year-round, and the available races each month can attest to this, but maybe that just wasn't meant to be my thing. Maybe (I realize, years into this sport) I need to take long breaks. Focus on other things for a while, and keep myself from getting burnt out. Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. I don't know. In the meantime, I've still been hit...

360lb #backsquat!!! That's a 15lb #pr!! #powerlifting #fitness #fitnamese #girlswholift #anchoredsc @anchoredsc A video posted by Thu (@vivaglamr3d) on Jun 17, 2015 at 10:19am PDT