Editions of Me

I finished my first FO for my baby! This is a seamless, top-down raglan cardigan. It's not unlike the sweater I made for Dakota - in fact, the basic sweater is EXACTLY the same; the only difference is in the construction. "Baby's First Tattoo" was knit in pieces and then seamed together (my first seaming job, which was incredibly difficult for me to get right), but this one was knit all in once piece, with only minor underarm seams to be sewn (and I was very happy about how that turned out). The yarn is Dream in Color Classy (worsted weight). I had a TON of this left over from another thing I'd made last year, so why let it go to waste? It's beautiful (especially in seed stitch), and it's also machine washable (definitely a plus for baby items). I knit the body of the sweater on circs and after trying to Magic Loop the sleeves and getting really frustrated with the screwy cord of my circs popping in my face all the time, I decided just to switch to DP...

I was feeling icky yesterday, but I woke up this morning with a raging headache (so I was already very queasy and sick), and then had to get up and go to the Kaiser lab for a glucose test, so they gave me this bottle of citrus-flavored something that I had to drink right away, so that made me REALLY sick. And then I had to sit around their office for an hour before they could take my blood. Ugh. I thought I was going to lose it right there. The tv was loud and obnoxious, and it was really crowded, so there were people just everywhere and some of them smelled (not bad, but you know how some people just have a scent? And right now I'm very sensitive to people's scents). And there was beeping and a loud printer whirring and seriously... I thought I was going to hurl. And then they drew my blood and I felt even worse, and when I finally came home, I sneezed a huge sneeze and THAT made me feel like I was going to throw up. But now that I've had something to eat and drink (finall...

Sometimes I ask myself that question. Actually, I've been asking myself that a LOT lately - is this really happening? Is this baby really happening? It seems like one minute I was feeling slightly ill and tired all the time, and now I've got stacks of pregnancy books and pamphlets from the doctor's office and my big 18 week ultrasound has been scheduled. It's a whirlwind, isn't it? It's surreal that I'm supposed to be carrying on normally at work every day, while seeing pictures of this little kidney bean growing inside me and reading that my uterus is the size of a grapefruit now. I've seriously only seen my baby on the screen once. I have slightly irrational moments when I think I've imagined the whole thing, or I worry that the baby has just disappeared, to trick me. I'm reading all these books and looking at illustrations of fetal development, and I'm experiencing the same thing that I would imagine people would experience the first time ...

I went to the doctor's today, and we found a heartbeat. I've never been so happy to see a tiny flickering in my life. My bean baby. Everything is really okay!