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| a nearly-finished sweater |
I'm not going to lie, friends. Things have been rough for me, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I've been stuck in a feedback loop of stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, and feeling sick (not Covid, so far), culminating in me taking a few days off in a row because at some point, something has to give.
I've been throwing myself into arts and crafts, as a way to deal with it all. I'm still knitting a ton, but I've also been taking art classes through Domestika and sewing courses through Sew Liberated, and journaling, and also, I even made pho for myself yesterday, for the first time in a really long time. There is something restorative in the act of creating something (or planning to create something, as I'm still waiting on new sewing supplies and figuring out how to stash-bust).
But it has to be creating something from a place of peace---I know that lots of artisans and crafters enjoy turning their passions into their work, but for me, making things for other people can be just as stressful as doing my actual job. (Hence why the holidays are just completely hectic for me!) Being able to work on projects with no deadlines and no particular expectation of perfection or requirement to share, creating something just for myself, really helps me feel relax and feel better. I have always had a hard time relaxing by way of sitting still (I am terribly restless during vacations and always have to be DOING something), so having some pleasurable work to focus my attention is kind of the best way to go.
We moved house this summer, and one of the things I enjoy most about our new house is the backyard view--there's a large green space that wraps around our little neighborhood, so when I look out our back windows, all I see are trees--it's like a little mini-forest. There's a pond off in the distance, and when the sun sets, it creates this beautiful reflection peeking through the shadows of the tree trunks.
I have set up my bookshelves and craft table in our dining room area (since we don't eat at our dining table, I am pretty much taking up the whole space), so even though it's not a private room, it's lovely, airy room with a beautiful view, and right this moment, it's sunny, so I'm feeling especially at peace.
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| I just went out to the patio to take this picture |
I need more days like this. We ALL need more days like this. We all need more time, more space, more money, to be able to create the things we want to create and to move at leisure and feel at peace with the world.
Anyway, what am I making lately? The sweater pictured up top is Bean & Olive Grown Up, knit in Lion Brand Fisherman's Wool and Wool-Ease, and I started it last MARCH, so it really needs to just get done. This one has been a leisure knit for me, and now that it's approaching its birthday, I'm rallying to finish it--I'm on the second sleeve right now, and I think when that's done, I'm going to unravel the hem and add more length to it--I wanted it cropped, and it ended up a little bit too cropped.
I'm also working on Inclinations (why yes, I do pretty much seem to only knit patterns from Andrew Mowry!) in Cascade 220 Superwash and Spincycle Yarns Dream State (birthday splurge!), and it's a fantastic pattern for relaxation knitting because I don't have to count rows or keep referring to the pattern, and the color-change nature of Dream State means that it's exciting to watch things develop. It was also a great carry-it-around-with-you project for that same reason, except that now that it's much bigger, it's not so portable. But yeah, this one has been a lot of fun, and it's in all my favorite colors, and it's deliciously squishy:
I'm also working on a pair of socks for Jimmy, and I have one project that has been on the needles since before Benny was born, so that one is next on my list to grind through, once I'm done with my sweater.
On the sewing front, I am doing Sew Liberated's series of Learn to Sew Your Clothes courses, and we're about to start the first project lesson, which is to sew a pair of their Nocturne pajama pants! I'm still trying to select a fabric (because the second project is the Nocturne top, so I want to make a matching set), but I am super, super excited to begin. One overriding theme that Sew Liberated emphasizes is that we should make clothes to fit our body, rather than altering our body to fit our clothes, and this is what I need to hear right now---I've been struggling a LOT lately with my body and feeling tempted to return to disordered eating habits (because this is the time of year when we are encouraged to diet, diet, diet), so being taught how to wield the power of making clothes fit ME is really helping me a lot with my mental health.
What are you making right now? What's helping you find peace?