Editions of Me

My friends decided to throw a Noon Year's Eve brunch (since one of them has to work at 4:30am tomorrow), so of course, fancy dress and mimosas were a must. I decided to wear my black sparrows dress that I wore to chaperone junior prom last spring, and decided to coordinate my eyes. My eye look is inspired by Urban Decay's BOS III look , but I definitely needed to adapt it to my eye shape, because my crease is not as high or deep as the model's. So this is what I came up with: Here's how I did it:

Dear Urban Decay, I want SO BADLY to love your Black Palette. By all accounts, this should've been THE palette for me, the former-bass-guitar-chick-turned-derby-girl: But every time I try to create a look using more than one of the shades, they just all look like a muddy black together. Here is attempt number one: The "I wish I was a rock star" Look

From us!

This group photo will have to be redone, since we've changed since then, but it's still a great shot! Solo photos:

I've been wanting a good needle roll to store my entire set of DPNs lately, because right now, ALL of my needles are sorted by size and then just lumped together into zippered pencil pouches that are made to fit into a binder. It's not a bad system, but when you have to look for five DPNs among a huge tangle of circular needle cords and what have you, it gets to be a pain. So I bought this needle roll from Green Planet Yarn today, because when it's your birthday, you can come in any day that month and "make your own sale" by pulling a chip out of a bucket that will either give you 20%, 40%, 60%, or rarely, 100% off your purchase. Obviously, you don't get to add to your sale after you've already chosen your chip. :) I bought some other things too - yarn AND needles, but I was most excited about this one, because it fits ALL my DPNS nicely, and is really cute rolled up. Rolled up Frickin' Crystal Palace!!! My 10.5's are longer than all my ...

As I was leaving his house , JERRY SELTZER gave me a hug and told me, "You're going to be one of the stars someday. I can just tell." I don't know why he said it, because I didn't think he knew me, but hey, I'll take it :) It's like meeting Vince McMahon, only nicer and cooler and not scary.   *ETA* Here's Jerry's blog post about our evening :)

Fun with Photobooth

So, I'm tackling the Couch to 10k program . Why that one and not the Couch to 5k program? Because it'll take longer to do C25k and then another program afterwards to get to 10k. I'd rather do it all in one fell swoop. I figure, I'm pretty much starting from "couch" anyway. So looking at the running plan, I decided to skip the first two weeks. I've never NOT been able to run a full minute repeatedly, even after a long layoff, so I felt it would be a bit redundant. So I'm starting with Week 3, Day 1. It's not too bad, only when I tried to post my workout to my various sites afterwards, the app froze on me. FAIL! I had to delete the app and then re-sync it, which erased my workout. But hey, I know I did it! So it felt good. The workouts in C210k are longer than the ones in C25k (because obviously, you're training for twice as much distance), and as always I enjoy my alone time. I think that as long as I continue to run, and not allow myself t...

As a teacher, one of my biggest fears is that people will dig up some dirt on me that will end up getting me fired. I have to maintain strict lines of propriety to make sure that I don't get myself in trouble. This is one of the unfortunate parts of being a teacher - you are a public figure, so you do not have the same license to misbehave - or, well, not even misbehave so much as cut loose , as people in other professions. In a way, it's a bit like being a celebrity (but without nearly as much money). I have to be really careful about how I present myself in ALL public spaces, even online, because I never know who is watching or whom I'm going to run into. I have to make sure that I'm dressed appropriately, that I'm not too grungy, that I'm not swearing, drunk, or anything worse. With the advent of social networking, Youtube, and the vast advances made in cell phone technology, it is easier than ever to spread bad news really fast. So when you have, say, a ...

I'm going to Rollercon this summer!!!! Just purchased my ticket!!!! I'm waiting to see the schedule of events before booking my flight/rooms, if possible. Also waiting to see who else might join me, so we can book together.

1- Yesterday morning, I was shaking my head, dismayed, at the Phelps family's (aka, Westboro Baptist Church) latest headlines. They are famous for (among other things) claiming that God is punishing the US for "harboring gays" by allowing US soldiers to die overseas and by sending Hurricane Katrina. They also protest at people's funerals and have a website called God Hates Fags. 2- Last night, I watched The X-Files: I Want to Believe , in which the parents of a young boy with a terminal disease told Scully that they wanted to discontinue treatment for their son and just "put our faith in God now." Even though Scully had a course of treatment (though, experimental) that could possibly help. Also, the main plot of the movie involved a former priest who was a convicted pedophile who keeps praying and praying for forgiveness and absolution, and who tries to help the investigations through his "psychic visions," which may be true or may just be his de...

I turned 28. I have 2 years left before my tens' digit turns over. I've been thinking a lot about where I thought I would be and what I thought I would have accomplished by the time I turned 30, and I'm not sure I'm quite satisfied with where I am. We only have so many decades in our lives - have I done everything I wanted to in my 20's? Is my life as full as I want it to be? Pandamonium, skater and coach for SVRG, has a blog where she details her list of 30 things to do before she turns 30, 30 Candles . (She also recently turned 28.) Inspired, I've decided to do the same thing. That way, rather than saying "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do," I can simply say, "I don't have any regrets." So here's my list . (It's also one of the tabs above.) I'm looking forward to getting started. Let me know if you want to help/participate!

So, I'm pretty proud of this project! It was a white elephant gift for a holiday part amongst my derby friends. (Yes, the Jack Daniels was part of the gift!): I wanted to write up a sort of pattern, because I have a feeling I will be making quite a few more of these. It's not a well-written pattern, so sorry :) I'm not a designer.I wanted a grown-ups' version of smallsmallfaery's Tiny Jammer hat , but I wanted it to be quick and easy and not involve intarsia like the Know Your Jammer hat from Knockdown Knits . (Sorry, if you're not on Ravelry.com, you won't be able to view those links.) FAST LIKE A JAMMER beanie! Materials (which can all be found at your local Michaels, btw): - 1 skein Lion Brand Wool-Ease Thick & Quick in the color of your choice - 1 sheet of felt in the color of your choice (even though below I recommend using fabric adhesive, I do not recommend using the felt that is self-adhesive, because it is really stiff) - Two-sided ...

This year's card :) Picture Joy Christmas Make a statement with Shutterfly Christmas photo cards . View the entire collection of cards.

The Maulers - black, gray, and red Good times :)

Derby is finally coming to Milpitas! We have an awesome rink here, Calskate, that has been devoid of derby because no one was willing to take on the hours (9:30-11:30pm - yeah, brutal). And now, finally, my hometown has derby! The founder is named Jennifer, and she skated for a year-ish with Nor Cal. We spoke on the phone Wednesday, and she seemed very friendly, very welcoming, and very eager for assistance and input. I felt comfortable with her right off the bat. After having a not-so-great experience with another league's founders, I wanted to be sure that any league I check out from now on has "skater-owned, skater-operated" as their vision, and Jennifer does. So, last night I went to their practice, along with a friend who is interested in coaching. The coach is Kelly (male), a speed-skating coach who has a lot of champions under his belt, so he knows his stuff. A lot of the same principles apply in terms of basic skills, but it was interesting to learn them from ...

I can't believe this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember watching the 2002 World Series in Portland with Jimmy, who'd driven up to be with me. We were just kids then, watching it on my friends' tv in our on-campus apartments. I wasn't really a baseball fan at the time, but Jimmy was teaching me all about it, and I was crushed when we lost. I remember wondering if we would ever see the Giants in the World Series ever again. We were not yet 20. I remember the heartbreaking end to the 2004 season, the first season I'd truly followed the Giants, not realizing that that year would be the first of 6 years that the Giants wouldn't even make the post-season. Jimmy and I were so stunned, we couldn't even talk. Now, we are 27, and we have a baby. And the three of us watched this post-season together. Even Jolie cheered with us. Right before Brian Wilson threw the last pitch to get the final out of the game tonight, Jolie portentously pulled herself off the floor, raised...

I apologize for neglecting you all so long - it's been a busy couple of months! But what better way to resurrect (haha!) my blog than with some good ol' Halloween fun... allow me to present Ophelia, dead: He is dead and gone, lady, He is dead and gone; At his head a grass-green turf, At his heels a stone. Ophelia, from Shakespeare's Hamlet , drowns towards the end of the play, possibly as an act of suicide after the man she loves rejects her and (unrelated to that) kills her father. I used a makeup kit from the Halloween store to do most of the look - I did set my face makeup with UD's Razor powder, and I used a couple eyeshadows on my lips (Kiddie Pool and Revolver). I also put on some MAC Zoom Lash mascara haphazardly (after I took the above photo) and then sprayed my face with UD's All-Nighter setting spray, just to make the mascara smear a little. I also put TONS of gel in my hair to give it that wet look, without actually, you know, giving myself a co...

(Yes, I realize that that is the actual name of someone's book. But it's so clever!) Today, I am discussing the idea of fat acceptance with my sophomores. And it's only natural that it gets me thinking about my own attitudes towards fat people and being fat myself. I am fat. No two ways about it. I don't remember the last time I checked my body fat percentage, but I remember that it was in the high 40's. My body is almost HALF fat. It's just a fact. However, because I am also in fact big-boned and muscular, I'm probably a little smaller than other people who are my same height and weight. But yeah... it's the truth: I'm fat. That's a loaded statement of course. I have said "I'm fat" to other people, and been greeted with responses of, "No you're not! You're just big-boned!" or "You're not skinny , but you're not, like, fat fat!" Fat has become such a dirty word, and being fat brings on a wh...

I've decided to start running again. Being at the Nike marathon and being passed by old ladies and little girls in tutus made me realize how much I want so badly to be a badass runner. I DO want to do a marathon someday, but it's stupid of me to bank on that when I can't even run a full mile right now. So I'm going to do what I always tell other people, and start slow. If I do the full Couch-to-5k program in its entirety, I should be able to run a full 30 minutes in 9 weeks. There are 9 weeks left in this calendar year - how about I achieve a New Year's resolution before the new year begins? And I'm not going to commit to anything larger than this right now, beyond those 9 weeks. I tend to set very high goals for myself, which I guess is a good thing (because at least I'm ambitious), but I inevitably fall short of them because my body's limitations cannot stretch that far that quickly. I know I can run 3 miles because ONE TIME I actually ran a full ...

Yesterday afternoon, Jolie was climbing on the couch when she bumped her head really lightly on the wall - REALLY lightly. (I've seen her hit her head harder than that and crawl away without even a frown.) She probably wouldn't have made a fuss if I did suddenly gasp... once she heard me, she made a sad pouty face and touched her hands to her head, as if to say, "Oh, my poor head!" So I went over and gave her a hug, and put her back down, and she started playing again. A couple minutes later, she called me over and pointed at the tv - she wanted me to bring her over to the tv so she could mess with the stereo equipment. I said, "No, Jolie, I'm not bringing you over there." She whined a little bit, and when I still wouldn't do it, she touched her hands to her head and made a sad pouty face again, "Oh, my poor head!" :) Trying to milk her "injury" to get my pity! I think Jimmy and I couldn't stop laughing for ten whole minut...

I've been contemplating a career change for a while now. At first I thought that maybe teaching somewhere different - a school less crowded, or a school with a more motivated students, perhaps - would make things better, but the more I think about it, the more I want to leave the classroom completely. I love making connections with students and I love sharing my love and knowledge of literature with others, but I'm not entirely sure that this is the life I want to lead. I find myself struggling to fit the mold of "teacher" because I am not what a teacher is traditionally supposed to be. And I don't think there are enough people like me to start some sort of revolution of non-traditional teachers. - I'm not a stickler for rules and discipline and forcing children to behave. I hate it, I really do. Maybe I'm more college-y when it comes to this point, but I'm very much of the "If you don't like it in my class, get the hell out" way of t...

As I'm sure most people do, I have an angsty teenage girl lurking in my psyche. Sometimes when I get upset about things, she tends to come out. Right now, I'm upset about some friends. Now, we're all adults, and I should be an adult about this, but the hurt little girl inside me is stamping her foot pretty persistently. I have these friends who I used to be really close to, whom I would talk to all the time and see all the time. When I was going through some tough times, I really depended on them, and they were absolutely there for me. We're not so close anymore. Not because of any falling out - they're just really busy, and they live further away now, and we don't see each other as much. But now we don't even talk as much, either. No particular reason, we just... don't. And it makes me sad. But I'm so afraid to bother them, because they're so busy all the time (by their own admission), that I don't extend any invitations or anything or t...

Looking back at everything that's been going on these past couple of weeks, I'd have to say that I do not regret my time spent with the Mizfitz. I don't regret leaving either, but I don't regret being there in the first place. I did improve my skating, and I met some really wonderful people, who ended up becoming my really good friends. It's not every day that you meet girls who are willing to hit other girls for you :)

Jordana Paige's new LJ Kaelm's bag ! I SO want this bag. It'll be the perfect way to carry around my grading AND my knitting AND my iPad and still look cute. If it could fit my laptop as well, I'd cry tears of joy.

I have to try to word this delicately. I don't have, like, a large blog audience or anything, but the fact remains that it IS public, and that ANYONE could be reading it. I have decided to part ways with my derby league. Without getting into any detail about it, because I want to respect league confidentiality, suffice it to say that I was not happy, and felt that my only course of action was to remove myself from what was turning into a volatile situation. There are many I'm leaving behind whom I adore and have come to respect and trust, and those individuals have been very supportive of my reasons for leaving. I am disappointed that the non-derby part of derby has gotten in the way of my enjoyment and my participation, but apparently this is not an uncommon phenomenon. (I refer you to the derby documentary, Hell on Wheels .) In leaving, I have caused some individuals to be very upset with me, and I guess that's to be expected. No one's safe from conflict, especial...

My first real trip through the playoffs with the Giants!

I'm sick. I have a cold and a sore throat, which sounds fairly harmless, except that colds and sore throats make me loopy. I'm in a total haze (and I'm not even medicated). I cannot wrap my head around anything that needs to be done right now - grading, updating my book with new students, planning ahead, none of it. If it were acceptable to do so, I would put my head down on my desk and nap while my kids are watching their movie. I've been exhausted and stressed out lately (lack of sleep, lots of work), which I would guess weakens my immune system, and everyone knows that school is a germ fest. So now I'm sick and muddled and I can't take a day off because I really do have to be here to teach things - I can't even begin to formulate something a sub can do.

Dear Blog, I am faced with a difficult decision. SVRG's bootcamp is starting up again in three weeks. Now, before you get upset, I definitely have no plans to abandon the Mizfitz. They are my team, and I don't walk out on my team. Rather, the reason why I'm interested in doing bootcamp again is because 1) it's more opportunities to skate coached practices (because you know how much I suck at going skating on my own and making it a worthwhile workout), and 2) it's another crack at passing the WFTDA minimum skills test, and sooner - the Mizfitz are aiming for February to test everyone. My reservations are as follows: - We already practice three nights a week, and fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), the bootcamp practices fall on two nights where I wouldn't have Mizfitz practice. That means five days a week of hard, intense workouts, and they all happen to be five days in a row (Sunday through Thursday). Now, if it were summer, it...

... And these will go right back in the box until my Rebels completely wear away. I'm not introducing my Wickeds to that crappy asphalt until I absolutely have to! I feel like Gollum/Smeagol in The Lord of the Rings, whispering in that evil voice, "My preciousssssssssss..."

Tomorrow is SKATES day. The day I finally buy new skates, the Riedell Wickeds, pictured at left. This is a pretty momentous occasion. These aren't just new skates to replace my beat up Sure Grip Rebels - these are an UPGRADE. Rebels are an excellent entry-level package, and I wouldn't be sorry to buy them again. But the WICKEDS... they are definitely stepping up! They are a commitment - you don't buy skates this expensive unless you plan to stick with derby (or unless you don't have any other options). This is me saying, I'm going to be doing this a while, and I need some better skates!!! So this is what I'm up to tomorrow morning. In the evening, I'll be volunteering for the first game of SVRG's last home bout of the season. And then on Sunday evening, the Mizfitz have a league meeting :)

Here's what's coming to me in the mail: OH YES! Reviews to come when they arrive!

(I know, it's been a while! Been busy with work, baby, and roller derby.) So, I've had the Runaway's "Cherry Bomb" stuck in my head for a couple of days (LOVED the movie!), so today's look is inspired by that song. It's PINK eyeshadow - pink with an attitude! Here's how I did it: - UDPP (not pictured, because I ALWAYS use it) - UD eyeshadow in Woodstock (bright magenta pink, from the Sephora-exclusive summer collection) all over lid and just slightly above crease with a wide soft blender brush - UD eyeshadow in Free Love (peachy-colored, from the same collection) patted on top of the pink and then blended upwards into the crease - UD eyeshadow in Skimp (vanilla-colored with gold flecks, from the UD Beauty in a Box, also Sephora-exclusive) as a highlight, and blended into the crease slightly - UD Ink for Eyes in Empire (deep purple) as a liner on the upper lid - UD eye pencil in Lucky (copper-colored) on the lower rims - MAC Zoom Lash masca...

So, that was probably the best first-week-of-school I've EVER had! And I'm saying this cautiously because I don't want to jinx myself - so far, my kids are nice, and mostly attentive, and mostly open-minded. I haven't had any (*knock on wood*) jerks who give me attitude or who just won't do anything; there aren't any kids I'm afraid will cut me; there isn't even a particular period that I am afraid of teaching. Even a few kids who look like they really don't want to participate in things were cracking a smile at a couple of the activities we're doing. Am I doing things differently? Yes. I'm trying to be more attentive. I feel like I was such a horrible teacher these past two years (with the pregnancy and then Jolie's first year), that I need to be extra dedicated to at least attempt to make up for all those days that I wasn't there for them. I want to be there for these kids.I want to love my job again. And right now, I do. I have...

First day of school tomorrow. I don't think I will never stop getting nervous the night before the first day. But I think that's a good thing - maybe it means that I still care enough about doing my job. (I do! I'm really going to try and keep my crap together this year.) I think that, when I stop feeling anything, it will mean that I should be looking for a new job.

I still want to move here: I still want this.

So, by August 24, 2011: Hopes: - Lose at least 30 pounds, if not the full 50 - Pass all my WFTDA skills - Find a home for the Mizfitz to skate in (that's my hope for the whole team, not myself personally) Dreams: - Skate in a bout! - Find a job in Portland and move? Plans: - Attend my 10 year high school reunion - Watch my officers graduate *sniffles* - Celebrate Jolie's 2nd birthday Best kids ever! They make everything worth it.

Literally, right now, there's nothing in my purse, because most of the time, I grab my wallet and carry it in my pocket or in my hands, and my phone/keys are usually in my pockets. But, assuming I had no pockets, and I was going somewhere more important than just Target: Wallet - yes, it matches my purse. iPhone Philosophy's Be Somebody lotion - but since they only sell big bottles, I had to put some of it into a travel-sized bottle in order to be able to carry it around with me. I love the way it smells Fresh Sugar lip balm - AWESOME stuff Keys - that's right, I drive a Toyota. My key fob, though, also has a button for my hatch. Canon Powershot SX120 - you never know when a photo op will present itself, especially with Jolie around But like I said, most of the time, I roll with just my wallet, keys, and phone, and everything else stays home. I travel light because most of the time, I am carrying Jolie AND her diaper bag around with me.

No surprise here - I'm an emotional spender. Actually, I'm an emotional eater too. (And there have been lots of studies linking overeating with over-spending.) My upbringing is that deadly combination of privileged, upper-middle-class self-entitlement and Asian family party feasts! Unfortunately, I am a lowly teacher, and high blood pressure and diabetes run in my family. So I'm fat and poor. I know I need to make changes in my lifestyle, but it's SO hard for me. You can't JUST STOP. It doesn't work that way. It's like trying not to scratch an itch.

I have to pick one of these for the website. I think I will do the second one, which is the same one that's currently my FB profile picture. Major props to Crasharella, who was the photographer. She actually made me look gorgeous!

I don't think I can be as detailed about this as I was about my day. I'm going to have to look at my calendar and see what I did. What I did this week: Monday and Tuesday were my first days back at school, but not even in an official paid capacity - I am an assistant coordinator for our school's Link Crew program. Link Crew is a national program designed by The Boomerang Project, in which incoming freshmen are "linked" in groups to an upperclassman Link Leader - it's kind of like a peer mentoring thing. The point is that if the freshmen all have SOMEONE who has been through what they're about to go through, they will be better able to adjust to life at the high school level. The BFD for Link Crew is Freshman Orientation, which has a component that is completely student-led - each Link Leader takes his/her group of freshmen to a classroom ALL BY THEMSELVES and leads them through various icebreakers and thoughtful activities, and there is definitely a se...

I'll try my best! I'm getting old, my memory is not as good as it used to be. Got up at 6:30am. Took a shower. Wanted to wear my new derby shirts that I made, but the letters need to be ironed down some more (peeling at the corners), so that was out. Made a bottle for Jolie - we snuggle together in the morning while she has her bottle, so it's nice lovely quiet time. Occasionally she offers me her bottle, which I pretend to drink and she laughs at me when I make exaggerated smacking-my-lips sounds. Then she threw a crying tantrum when I had to put her back in her crib so I could leave to go to school. (As soon as I leave the room, she pretty much stops crying. She went right back to sleep.) Got to school by about 8am. Supervising at senior registration - we are selling senior class sweatshirts and senior packages (the package includes tickets to Grad Nite at Magic Mountain and to our senior picnic, as well as a senior class t-shirt). Stood around in the sun until 11:30,...